Its Colorado

It always amazes me at how shocked people act when they realize that it snows in Colorado. Hello!! Get a clue? Its Colorado!! Its freaking February!! So I made a list of ways to recognize that you are in Colorado.

1. It is 60 degrees on Saturday and -15 on Sunday.
2. Kevlar is part of your kid’s school uniform.
3. Forty-nine percent of the people are either gay or a lesbian.
4. Forty-nine percent of the people are bible thumping, self-rightegous PIA.
5. The remaining two percent don’t care about either groups we just want to be left the hell alone.
6. Blinkers are a very expensive options.
7. Everyone looks HOT in their BDUs.
8. And last but not least, It is snowing in Freaking FEBRUARY!

I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY

Wow, I just had the most amazing moment of insight. I think I have finally figured The Man out.

Whenever he has been hateful and ugly to me, his excuse has always been my hormones and mood swings drive him to it. But that is not it!!

He is hateful and ugly to me, which leads me to being hateful and ugly to him and a big old argument which leads back to him claiming that he is right about how I act. Basically he is in defensive mode and is attacting me before I am attack him. He is so military. He is doing a preemptive strike on me.

For some reason he seems to think that whenever I get my period I have PMS, but the last few months I haven’t had it. And I haven’t picked an argument with him. But he picks on with me. Like the other night when I asked him to move over on the bed so I could lay down.

All I said to him was “Could I have a some space on the bed!” Next thing I know he is stomping out of the room complaining about he hates it when I get PMS. I am like, WTF! And then he claims my PMS is so bad. Hey I wasn’t the one who stomped out of the room. I wasn’t the one who refused to eat dinner with us. It was all him.

And him blowing up my cell last night. I think he is the one suffering from it. Actually I don’t think he knows how to act if I am not arguing with him so he picks a fight because that puts him back in his comfort zone.

So to The Man, because I know you are reading this, No More Fighting!! WooHoo back on the Non-resolution we go!! Now if we can only bring back naked skiing life would be grand!!

Married an Asshole

Okay I tried!! I tried very hard to keep my resolution of not bitching at THE MAN as much this year. But its not going to work because he is an asshole.So this is the deal! Yesterday I met my friend Lola, the Love Goddess for a liquid lunch. Now what do you think the words “Liquid Lunch” implies? You got it!! Margaritas. Of course chips and salsa to take care of the actual food part. He knew we would be meeting. He knew it has been years since we seen each other. So how come he sends me text messages complaining about the length of time I was gone.Now this probably wouldn’t have been so bad, but the day before he complained because we were suppose to meet with another one of our friends, but he decided he didn’t want to so he didn’t go. Then he complains because I don’t spend time with him.

Hey I am free right now, but watching the Daytona 500 is more important to you. Oh yeah, that is right, I am suppose to be available at his convenience. So consider one resolution down the toilet.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day to those of you who got something. You know I should probably stop expecting things for gift giving holidays because the only thing I ever get is grief.

I mean I didn’t even get a Happy Valentine’s from my kids. This is even after I braved the hell known as Walmart to get them valentine’s for their class party. And THE MAN, sent me a text wishing me a Happy Valentine’s. Oh the effort must have killed him.

Basically it was a repeat of Christmas. So if I am the only one who can sacrifice and save up for holidays then I am going to start buying myself the gifts since nobody else in my family will and don’t appreciate what they get.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Okay, yesterday was Paynequin’s birthday and today is the Monstarr. How nuts was I to end up pregnant two years in a row. But my baby girl is growing up so very fast. Its hard to believe that she is ten already.

Now The Man has to put up with two hormonal women!! Someone pray for him because he will need it.

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

Today my baby turns nine. Happy Birthday Paynequin. Its hard to believe that just yesterday he used to be my eight pounds five ounce chubby cheek baby boy and now he is my nine year old lippy little boy who don’t know when to stop pushing the boundaries. *Sniff* they grow up so fast.

A LOW DOWN DIRTY SHAME!

At least I have one brother who can redeem the rest of them. My brother that is living out of town is coming to town on Monday to help out my parents.

In my book this is pretty damn sad, because one of my brother’s live with my parents but he has got to be the laziest person known to man. I mean if you can’t help out your own parents while you are living under their roof, driving their car and not paying a single cent to do either then you got to be the most ungrateful, selfish person alive.

But I do believe in Karma and one of these days he is going to need help and nobody is going to help him. He just needs to keep in mind that you reap what you sow.